A Mistake
by Zoser
Summary: Sam realizes that she has made a mistake. Some vulgar language.


"Have you ever fuck things up so bad that you didn't know whether to try and fix it or just crash and burn?" 

He wasn't quite sure what she was talking about but thought that she was trying to apologize for what Pete's friends had just said.

"It always better to live to tell the tale. Sometimes they are really funny when you're twenty years down the road."

"This will never be funny."

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He was only going to stay for a half hour if he could stand that. He wished the Goa'uld would invade just so he would have a valid excuse to get the hell out of there. So there he stood at Daniel's doorstep, with a bottle of wine in his hand and a smile pasted on his face that looked for all the world as if his lunch was about to come back up. He knocked on the door and Daniel let him in and took his coat. Sam greeted him, took the wine and accompanied him into the kitchen to get him a drink. It was while they were standing making small talk that they heard the laughter and the comment.

"Yeah the old guy. Heard she had a crush on the geezer or was it 'pops' that had it bad for your squeeze?"

It was a group of Pete's buddies, all of whom were pretty well lubricated at this point. Pete at least had the sense to look slightly embarrassed, embarrassed that they were over heard rather than for what had been said. He smiled a smarmy 'not my fault these drunken pals of mine are idiots' smile.

O'Neill's cheeks colored then blanched. He thought about beating the bunch of them senseless but they were half in the bag now and making a federal case about it would only make it a further point of interest for the prurient. The dead silence was the indication that everyone had heard the comment and he wanted only to escape the embarrassment. He did not want to make eye contact with anyone. He didn't want to see their pity or their amusement.

"Please take me home."

O'Neill didn't realize at first she was talking to him and when he did, he looked at her questioningly.

"You sure?"

"I want to get out of here away from those…. Please take me home now.  
Daniel, please, our coats."

When she used the tone that on mission it meant 'hop to it boys or we are going to be royally screwed'. And so they obeyed her. Daniel retrieved the coats without a word. And so Sam Carter walked out of a party given in her and Pete's honor to announce their engagement.

Outside of her first comments nothing much was said in the truck on the way to Carter's house. O'Neill didn't know exactly what to say. He didn't want to seem petulant but was still angry and embarrassed enough not to want to joke about it. As they pulled up to her house she said that she would like to invite him in but she had some things she needed to do. She then turned to him with smoldering eyes, not embarrassed, not angry and not a bit of apology or pity in them. She leaned to him and kissed him. Not a peck on the cheek, no, if she hadn't said she had other things to do it was the kind of kiss that would lead a fellow to believe there was more than an after dinner drink or cup of coffee on the agenda. She got out of the truck and went into her house and O'Neill sat there dumbfounded. Well he hadn't wanted to stay at that damned party long – mission accomplished. But what the hell just happened? Damned if he knew but somehow the night turned out better than he expected. He would have felt bad if she even seemed remotely unhappy but she didn't; if anything she seemed determined.

He had the urge to do a drive by in the morning to see if Pete's stuff decorated the lawn. No, it probably wouldn't happen and why give this melodrama a second thought. He fired up the truck and drove home, confused but with a lighter heart than he started the evening.

O'Neill walked into the base in the very early morning. He had no desire to run into any of the party goers. And as luck would have it he met many of them. Most greeted him with a look as if he had just won the lottery. Many asking him if he had a good night. Dixon even patted him on the back.

And that morning she stopped by his office, asked him that same question and gave him her resignation. Crap this is not what he wanted or expected. He called her back in and closed the door. "You don't have to do this."

"I know." She smiled at him. "It's what I want, finally what I want."

Now she was confusing him and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know everything or if he even was the right person for her to be talking to.

"Carter, maybe you should take some time to think this through. Talk with someone about this before you do something rash."

"Is that what you would do, Sir."

Now she was just being a smart ass.

"Hey didn't I discuss it with you guys before I took this job?"

"You're right, Sir. Do you have some time in your schedule so we could we ask Daniel and Teal'c in, so we could discuss whether or not I should have an affair with the commander of the base or resign so that I don't have to sneak around and pretend I don't really love him?"

So he stood there rubbing his forehead, hoping that Thor would beam him up. Was he supposed to be the angry general about to loose his best scientist, the friend comforting a friend whose life was in turmoil or jump over the desk and kiss her?

"Colonel Carter, Stargate command needs your expertise."

"Sorry, Sir. I've given the Air Force most of myself and have been living the rest of my life by song lyrics; 'If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.' And 'You can't always get what you want but if you try sometime you get what you need.' I need more. I don't just need 'a' life; I need 'the' life I want. This is the only way I think I can get it. By the way, do you hire civilians or relatives?"

O'Neill had the look of a deer in the headlights as he picked up the phone.

"Sergeant, get me Hammond."

She had never seen him so nervous. He could not keep still, tapping his fingers on the phone waiting for the connection. Then he smiled.

"I may pay for this someday but this is probably the last time I'll have a chance to say it. You are dismissed, Colonel."

And with an equally intriguing smile she said "Yes sir, General, sir." and left.


End file.
